This is going to be more of a tongue-in-cheek post, which even the most serious of informational repositories need from time to time. Plus, I think given the past few posts regarding death, destruction and privacy… well, we need a little humor!
So, let’s get on with the question. Josh from [redacted] writes:
I work for a [redacted], and i am acting on behalf of a casino client of ours who would like to advertise on your website
I am interested in publishing a one off short article on your site with a view to it staying live for a 12 month period.
Within this article there will be one outbound text link going to my clients website.
We make sure every article is suited to your website and we are able to provide the content if necessary and can ensure that it is unique, up to date and relevant to the theme of your website.
Alternatively if you feel more comfortable creating your own content, we would be more than happy to work with you creating a piece that works for both of us.
Ideally we need this to be live before the end of this week if possible so I hope we can finalize a deal quickly.
If you had some other website that would be of great help, and maybe we could complete a group deal? Or any friends you could pass me on too?
If you are interested please reply and we can discuss it further.
I wish you good luck with your site and look forward to your reply
Heya Josh from [redacted], thanks for writing!
I really do hope you were genuine about looking forward to my reply, because I’m really looking forward to replying to you… so much so that I want everyone to read it!
As to your inquiry about advertising your client’s casino on my Messianic Jewish themed technology and financial independence website that’s monetarily supported only through reader donations and a modest referral program on a handful of Amazon listed items, and also contains a financial disclosure stating, “I have not, will not, and will never do paid posts or wiki entries. Period,“ I would be delighted to betray my readership’s trust and provide advertising space on this blog for your client…. not just for the next year, but for as long as this resource stays available online!
Given your firm’s skills at appropriately identifying market segments for advertisers, I feel it might be best to take you up on the offer to write the copy necessary for this posted article myself to ensure its overall tone fits seamlessly with this blog’s content. In the interest of full cooperation, I shall propose the following write-up to accompany this link that you’d like to pay me for displaying:
Fast Money and Loose Judgment
In our ongoing quests toward not just financial independence but true physical and intellectual freedom within our lives, we can frequently find ourselves tempted by activities that not only distract us from our goals, but undermine us financially and morally. One of those activities is gambling away your money at casinos.
Frequently, I’ll hear the argument to justify gambling built upon the statement that it’s “just entertainment” and nothing serious. Just entertainment! Outside of a trip to Unka Walt’s Dizzy World where they extort money out of you for everything from gate entry to emptying your biological wastewater sack, what other forms of entertainment can possibly cost so much for so little of a return?
One of the core principles of financial independence is not to wrap your life up around your money and your worth, but to learn to respect that money as nothing more than a tool that provides you the freedom for more noble and long lasting pursuits. Can you honestly say that you’re respecting that tool if you’re squandering it for “entertainment” purposes by going to a place engineered and designed to extract as much money out of you as humanly possible using vices and shiny distractions to skew your judgment? Let’s face it, if the iPhone were a building you could walk into, it’d be a casino.
Now, I’m sure plenty of you faithful out there might point out that games of chance aren’t technically sinful and wicked. This is true. However, gambling and casinos are built around the sole purpose of a love for money and the desire for quick riches… let’s just say the Tanakh and B’rit Chadasha both have a fair deal to say on those topics, and they aren’t encouraging words.* After all, if you want to get down to the bottom of it, as believers? All things are provided of the L-rd, and we are simply being entrusted as stewards with its use within our lives. Do you really see Yeshua patting you on the back when you toss down a $20 chip on black to win saying, “Good luck, bro!” Well, maybe that idolatrous Buddy Christ lookin’ depiction that loves the iPhone might… but the genuine, historical Son of G-d? I wouldn’t bet on it.
If there’s any truer axiom than, “A fool and his money are soon parted,” I haven’t heard many. It’s right up there with, “The house always wins.” You know what though, all I can do is try and present some reasonable logic. If you still feel inclined toward frittering away your money to tangle with the monster Gamblor, and need someone to try and snatch you from his neon claws? Don’t say I didn’t try to warn you before you head off to [insert city name here]‘s fabulous [insert business name here with link to website] for a weekend of [insert slogan here]!
Mazel tov, buddy!
There you go, Josh! I really think your client is going to delight in paying for such a positive and uplifting message towards financial stewardship to be attached to their advertising campaign. You’ll note I’ve even tossed in a couple high-ranking SEO terms for my site just to sweeten the pot (purely out of the kindness of my heart, of course). Now that I’ve done my part, please feel free to send along your payment through the donation button in the upper right corner and pass along their details and website link so I can promptly copy that information to the most fitting location on this website’s servers.
It’s been a pleasure working with you and [redacted]. You’re clearly mavens in the field of advertising, and I look forward to the opportunity to do this with you again!
-Irving P. Daley
Gornisht Helfn & Meshugana
P.S. Josh? I doubt you’ll likely ever read this, but I actually hope you do. This post isn’t one intent upon shame, but admonishment couched in humor. Let me encourage you to learn from this, and as such, I pray His shalom and grace be upon you moving forward.
For everyone else? I hope it brought you a smile and a chuckle.
Feature Image photo by Marco Verch and licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-SA 3.0).